Today my dad woke me up at the ass crack of dawn to help him out at the farm. Usually when this happens, he asks me to drive him to one field or another so he can drive a tractor or some other piece of machinery back to the farm. To my utter dismay this was not to be the case today. That's right folks, my dad woke me up at 7 in the a.m., when I would have rather slept for another 4 or so hours, and expected me to work until almost sundown. I mean really, just because I'm spending my two weeks off from work at my parents' house, eating their food, and using their gas; does that mean I should be subjected to a full day of manual labor?
Yes?!
Well who asked you anyway?
Oh...right. Well, anyway, on with my tale. My friends usually make fun of me for being a farm girl who never really worked on the farm, so I sent them a picture as evidence that it does happen on occasion. Today I was responsible for running the Kabota (the brand name of a tractor company-all you really need to know is that it's a small tractor that I only learned how to drive for one summer several years ago). I got to lay down a line of tile (which is actually a kind of thick plastic tubing) from one side of the field to the other. That's a lot of bouncing around in my day.
I met a man named Frank who sometimes works for my dad. He told me that he needed to call his wife to bring him some water because otherwise his mouth would become "as dry as a popcorn fart." He then proceeded to tell me why he had a perpetual case of cotton mouth: "I had throat cancer and when they give me the radiation-the chemo-I got an awful case of dry mouth. Water works best but girl scout cookies and bacon can get it going too."
Imagine my surprise when this cancer survivor-who put in a hard day's work I might add-was lighting up later this morning. I swear by the end of the day he had gone through at least one pack. My dad told me later that Frank's philosophy on life was that, "We've all gotta die from something."
By the end of my impromptu work day I had driven back and forth across that field and to the farm and back several times. The biggest bit of excitement came when someone put the tile on the spool wrong and when we tried to put the whole thing on the other way, we had a clusterf*** of tile trying to unspool itself onto the ground. Three farmers, my cousin (a sometimes lineman) and me (a former theater manager). Were all trying to figure out how to fix things without making it worse. As it turned out, the whole thing looked like a film wrap to me. I tried to explain to my dad how I thought we could fix it, but he's a stubborn man (don't think I can't see some of you nodding your head and muttering to yourselves, "So that's where she gets it.") and he didn't want to listen to me. Eventually, after much cajoling, I got him to listen to my idea. I won't say it was the best, but it got the job done. Of course, one of the other guys added to it, but the main thing was that we got it figured out and got it done.
My day ended at 6:00 p.m. So I had an 11 hour day, 10 of which were spent actually working. While I thought I and my father deserved a good rest, he had a weekly ritual of shooing at clay targets that he did not want to miss. He convinced me to take up a shotgun and join him on at least a couple of runs. I shot 50 shells during two 25 shell practice rounds and hit a total of 20 targets. I haven't actually handled a firearm in almost ten years, so I'm feeling pretty good about myself :)
So, all in all, I have had a well rounded redneck day. Now, I'm so tired I think I really may pass out at any second, so I'm going to crash. Have a good night y'all ;)
Friday, March 30, 2012
Thursday, February 9, 2012
A Short Story to End the World On
Hello! I am sitting at home, bored and letting my mind wander. This is, of course, dangerous territory for me. However, I got to thinking about the end of the world, as I'm sure most of you are doing...what? You're not? Well, let's change that, shall we? Anyway, I was thinking about the Mayan calendar and how we're all heading towards the end in only a few short months. To be fair to my own twisted mind, I feel I should at least say that the strangely warm weather we've been having here in Illinois has definitely pushed me to thinking more and more that we're not quite as safe from dire predictions as I once thought. On Feb 2, it was in the 60s. Around this time last year we had one of the worst snowstorms we've seen in quite awhile. So, I decided to write about what I think will be the end of us. I hope you all enjoy!!
-----------------------------------------------------------------
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Many thousands of years ago, there lived a young Mayan boy, whom we shall call Joe. Now, Joe was fascinated with the night sky and would spend hours each night watching the stars. Many of the stars already had names, but as Joe watched the sky night after night, week after week, month after month and year after year, he began to assign names to more of them. He also began to notice that the stars followed a pattern that was repeated every year. He also watched the moon travel across the heavens, periodically hiding its face from view. And so, working from his observations, Joe began to calculate and create a calendar that could last into the eons. For decades, Joe would write down the next few months and then chisel away at his round stone. Joe only took enough time away from his project to go his wedding, which his parents arranged, and each night work diligently to get her with child. However, he never took enough interest in his children, nor they in his work, to consider passing on his knowledge of the calendar. So it was that when he was a very old man, at least in his fifties, his health began to rapidly decline and his sight, which had begun to fade from his years of staring at the symbols he had carved into the stone, finally left him. Now, he was in a bit of a pickle. He had finished his written calculations up until the winter solstice of the year we now call 2012, but there was no way to finish even this much. So, he begged his oldest son, whom we’ll call Paul, to finish his project, at least insofar as his last calculations. At first, Paul wanted to refuse, having a bad case of daddy issues and all, but his mother and wife made him reconsider. This was, after all, his father’s last wish, and the gods would most likely be angry at Paul for disrespecting his elder more than they would be angry at Joe’s many, many years of neglect. So, Paul relented and, over the course of many years, put the last few symbols on the stone. There was plenty of room left for more years, but Paul didn’t know how to calculate them, and Joe had died, happy in the knowledge that his son would carry out his final wish.
And so, the millennia passed. The knowledge of the calendar, what little there had been to begin with, was lost. When the first person stumbled upon the calendar, he wasn’t exactly sure what it was. Then, the Mayan’s written language was deciphered and someone realized it was a calendar. When yet another person realized the last date on that calendar translated to December 21, 2012, he didn’t think much of it. His research assistant, given to wild flights of fantasy, went a bit squiffy and determined for himself that this was a sign that the world would end on this particular date. Although he knew he would be long dead when the calendar ran out, he still felt it was his mission to let everyone know that their descendents would have nothing but death to look forward to. He was a particularly cheerful fellow, was he not?
Scientists, theologians, fiction novelists and scriptwriters, and people who are just plain off their rocker have bandied about many theories on how the world will end on this particular date. Some would say, “They can’t all be right!” But I ask, “Why not?” It is my theory that the world will end as a direct result of Santa Claus. I can see that you are confused, but that’s okay. As it turns out, you aren’t aware of the real story of Santa Claus, but rather the crap you have been spoon-fed throughout your life. Once again, not your fault, Santa has his hand in that, because misinformation is his bread and butter. I, however, have seen past the candy cane façade and discovered the truth. It was a dangerous mission, but I was up for the challenge.
Santa Claus is actually an alien from the planet Elifan. This is indeed why he is referred to as a “jolly old elf.” But, more than that, he is a political refugee from that planet. Thousands of years ago, he crashed at the North Pole. He was accompanied by many of his most faithful servants and friends. Santa is, in fact, a prince of his planet whose throne was taken by the evil—okay, I never actually learned his name, so I’m going to call him Steve. Santa decided that since he was going to be stuck on our planet for the foreseeable future, and because he was pretty much immortal, he might as well stay busy, which is where the whole gift-giving thing came in.
Anyway, this is what will happen: Steve, having finally figured out where Santa is hiding, will descend upon the earth. He will pick the 21st of December for two reasons:
1-It’s a Friday, and given that he knows most Earthlings look forward to this day and he believes we’ve been hiding his foe for the last thousand-plus years, Steve believes this would be the best time to destroy our world. Therefore ruining Friday for one and all.
2-It’s the Friday before Christmas. Knowing that this is Santa’s big day, Steve will want to ruin that as well. He figures—rightly so—that by Christmas day the world will be pretty well screwed. Or, at the very least, upset by what happened on the weekend that not even people who celebrate Christmas would be looking forward to that day.
So, Steve flies his ship over the North Pole and Santa’s secret base and unleash all kinds of alien hell upon it. (Don’t worry kiddies, Santa will escape—it’s kinda his shtick). This bombardment will crack the polar ice caps, beginning the slow process of melting the ice as we have so long feared. The governments of the world will try to figure out how to save as many people as possible, but let’s face it; they’ll mostly be worried about themselves and their family, so the rest of us are rather screwed.
In the midst of all this, there is a terrorist in eastern Fuckukistan who has decided that now is the perfect time to bomb the U.S. and get himself his 72 virgins. No one will ever really know this guy’s name, so we will call him Bob. Come on folks, we all know the end would come at the hands of a guy named Bob, we just never really voiced that opinion. Any who, Bob will hijack the nearest plane strapped with sundry explosives and head for the middle of the U.S. Now is not the time for big gestures, just maximum destruction. As an Illinois resident, I figure this will be the part where most of my state will bow out of this little drama. So from here on out, the rest of you are welcome to the crap that is about to really hit the fan. Because Bob will not stop at merely strapping explosives to his chest—he will also pack a goodly amount of known and unknown pathogens, making himself a flying chemical bomb. These chemicals will cause a small percentage of the leftover population to turn into raving mad, flesh hungry, death-proof creatures. That’s right folks, I’m calling zombie apocalypse. Of course, there will be at least one rich American who will try to escape by flying to Europe, but that’s just going to spread the chaos because there is always at least one infected individual waiting to ruin it for everyone else. So, after aliens attack, the polar ice caps begin to melt and a terrorist bombs the crap out of the U.S., the final battle for human life will be between the living and the undead.
Meanwhile, Australia will be down there like “WTF, mate?”
THE END!!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Ah, now don't you feel better? No? Oh well, at least I had fun ;) For those of you who have not wasted their lives on the Internet, that last line was stolen from a flash video that came out when I was in high school. Here's the link for those of you who have not yet experienced the awesome: http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/end
Well, that's all for now. Have a good rest of the week! Oh yeah, and COPYRIGHT. So now if you steal any part of this I can hunt you down and feed you to those zombies Bob created :)
Saturday, January 28, 2012
This is Why I Don't Make Resolutions
We are almost done with the first month of 2012, and I'm not doing a great job of keeping up with my resolutions. I'm not exactly shocked by this, but it is a little disconcerting to know that even with the perception of people watching (that would be you, oh faithful readers i.e. my parents and sister), I am still not exactly motivated to keep on truckin'. I suppose I should cut myself at least a little bit of slack and acknowledge that I was on vacation for at least part of this month, so a few of my resolutions weren't really possible. I went to the Caribbean, by the way. It was amazing, though surprisingly cold for the first couple of days. I was very good and only bought a few souvenirs. It was a cruise, so I was a little worried about getting seasick, but I ended up doing pretty well--though the boat did have its moments of trying to get me to toss my cookies. Cruising was especially interesting because of the incident with the ship in Italy. I've got to say it is certainly an interesting experience when your mother comes into your hotel room the day you're supposed to sail and says: "I've got good news and bad news, which one do you want to hear first?"
"Gimme the bad news."
"A ship in Italy ran into a sandbar and there are at least four dead."
Let me just say, I've forgotten what the good news was. Luckily, our ship didn't encounter much besides some heavy waves, for which I am eternally grateful.
Now that I have been firmly sidetracked, I suppose I'll try to get back to my original point. As it turns out, I am more than capable of distracting myself (case in point, detouring into a short description of my vacation). At the moment I am ignoring my novel twice over. First, I have started a second novel that has absolutely nothing to do with the original. Second, I am writing this post. And, I suppose I should add my second distraction - Words With Friends. Damn you Scrabble knock-off for being so addictive! No wonder Alec Baldwin got kicked off of that plane.
I choose to place the blame for my third distraction on the addictive quality of board games. For the second, I fully blame my sister. She taunted me (taunted I say!!) about being a hypocrite and only writing two blog entries when I promised I would write more. See, sis, now I have five! *Sigh* That's not going to fly with anyone, is it? Fine! At least allow me to blame her for planting the idea in my head. Otherwise I'll have to admit to even more character flaws and, really, a girl can only take so much self-deprecation.
As for my first distraction, I intend to blame my own over-active imagination. While attending a conference for work, I got bored and began to write the first thing that popped into my head. I will admit to just one more character flaw and say that I do tend to get bored easily, which is really how I started most of my writing projects. That same tendency gets me into trouble, however, when I get bored with whatever project I happen to be working on. So, I have decided that, as I have the next week off, I will get at least ten chapters out of this newest novel idea. Then I can at least say I got distracted for a good reason. Who knows, maybe I'll really get into this one and finish it. Or I've just jinxed myself horribly and won't get beyond my last stopping point. Either way, I'm sure I'll learn some kind of valuable life lesson. That kind of maudlin stuff happens all the time...right?
"Gimme the bad news."
"A ship in Italy ran into a sandbar and there are at least four dead."
Let me just say, I've forgotten what the good news was. Luckily, our ship didn't encounter much besides some heavy waves, for which I am eternally grateful.
Now that I have been firmly sidetracked, I suppose I'll try to get back to my original point. As it turns out, I am more than capable of distracting myself (case in point, detouring into a short description of my vacation). At the moment I am ignoring my novel twice over. First, I have started a second novel that has absolutely nothing to do with the original. Second, I am writing this post. And, I suppose I should add my second distraction - Words With Friends. Damn you Scrabble knock-off for being so addictive! No wonder Alec Baldwin got kicked off of that plane.
I choose to place the blame for my third distraction on the addictive quality of board games. For the second, I fully blame my sister. She taunted me (taunted I say!!) about being a hypocrite and only writing two blog entries when I promised I would write more. See, sis, now I have five! *Sigh* That's not going to fly with anyone, is it? Fine! At least allow me to blame her for planting the idea in my head. Otherwise I'll have to admit to even more character flaws and, really, a girl can only take so much self-deprecation.
As for my first distraction, I intend to blame my own over-active imagination. While attending a conference for work, I got bored and began to write the first thing that popped into my head. I will admit to just one more character flaw and say that I do tend to get bored easily, which is really how I started most of my writing projects. That same tendency gets me into trouble, however, when I get bored with whatever project I happen to be working on. So, I have decided that, as I have the next week off, I will get at least ten chapters out of this newest novel idea. Then I can at least say I got distracted for a good reason. Who knows, maybe I'll really get into this one and finish it. Or I've just jinxed myself horribly and won't get beyond my last stopping point. Either way, I'm sure I'll learn some kind of valuable life lesson. That kind of maudlin stuff happens all the time...right?
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Happy New Years!
I don't usually make New Years resolutions, but I've decided that 2012 will be a year of change for me, so it makes sense to write down some of the changes I want to make. I would like to say I agonized for the many days I wasn't posting trying to come up with some of the best resolutions ever seen, but that would be lying and, really, what would be the point in that? I did find it extremely difficult to come up with resolutions, however, because my mind has been filled with other thoughts. I'm going on a trip soon, and my brain has been buzzing with all of the things I need to take with me and what I would like to do while I'm away. I won't say when I'm going, mostly because my mother is paranoid (though not without good reason) about letting people know when she's not going to be home. And yes, before you judge, I am going on this trip with my parents. I'm one of those rare children who actually enjoys spending time with the people who spawned me. Anyway, I digress--something with which I have a lot of practice. On to my resolutions:
1) To Finish My Novel--
I'm sure this first resolution comes at no shock to anyone; especially if you have actually read my blog before. I am constantly frustrated with myself for not committing more time to this particular endeavor. However, I am well aware of the fact that seeking out other activities, such as this blog, keep me from making that commitment. The real point to this resolution is to finish my novel before 12-21-12. It's not that I believe the world is actually in danger of ending; it's that I want to be able to say "See, now at least if the world had ended I could face St. Peter with a real accomplishment under my belt." Sure, it would be nice to finish my novel and experience the same notoriety as J.K. Rowling, but so long as I finish it by next year, I figure I will have achieved something for myself.
2) To Sell My Photography Online--
While I don't claim to be the next Ansel Adams, I do enjoy taking pictures of nature. I've been told I'm pretty good, so I'm hoping to capitalize on that. I've already posted a couple of products on zazzle.com, so I should, hopefully, get a couple of hits. If not, then I can at least say I tried. And, to start my shameless promotion, here's the website so you can all go and buy my crap :P http://www.zazzle.com/moonstruckmotifs
3) Learn to Cook--
This may not sound like a completely adventurous goal, but I've always regretted ignoring my mom when she asked if I wanted to help her cook meals. Silly me, I was always more interested in the baked goods. Now that I'm on my own, however, I find that my mom was correct when she said I would need to know how to cook someday. Don't get me wrong, I can whip up a mean spaghetti, but past that and microwaving frozen dinners or canned soup, I'm pretty much worthless. Luckily, I know enough to get by if someone tossed a recipe in front of me, but I wouldn't trust that meal as far as I could throw it. I just need to learn to manage my time better (and there's a reason that's not a resolution, by the way) so I can cook these meals.
4) Learn a New Language--
This is actually something I want to do most of the time anyway. I always thought it would be incredibly cool to know multiple languages. However, I only know English and some Spanish. I've actually forgotten most of my Spanish skills because it's been so long since I've taken classes. That and there isn't much call for speaking Spanish in my daily life. It has come in handy though, so it makes me want to branch out into more languages. Here are just a few that I wish to speak someday: Japanese, Mandarin (though I have actually taken a class for this, I've forgotten almost all of it), Russian, French, German, Portuguese, Italian, Greek (this is mostly so I can no longer say "It's Greek to me"), Arabic (I'm aware there are several versions of this, I'm thinking whichever course I can find will work for me), and some kind of African dialect (mostly to say I know it). I'm aware there are a lot of languages in this list, and even more left out. Really, if it were at all possible, I would love to know every language and dialect and pidgin known to the world.
5) To Finish the Things I Start--
For the first four resolutions, I gave those quite a bit of thought in the days between Christmas and New Years. This one, however, occurred to me as I was writing this particular blog. I actually started writing this about 24 hours ago, but I got distracted by my New Years plans. The really sad thing about that is the fact that my plans consisted of watching two movies and getting out in time to ring in the new year with my friend, who was working (that lucky, lucky girl). I then returned home to finish this, only to become distracted by movies at home. I find that I am more than able to distract myself with the many bells and whistles of life...hence my trouble writing my novel, and now, finishing my blog. However, this resolution also covers the fact that I have several unfinished projects that have nothing to do with writing lying about my apartment. Add that to the fact that my living room looks like a tornado went through it and it all equals this fifth resolution.
That's all folks. Sorry, you'll have to add Porky's stutter in for yourself, I'm not exactly sure how that would translate to the written word. I admit that I have more resolutions than those five, but those are personal and I don't want this to get creepy ;) So, now that I've finished, I'm thinking a movie. Aren't you? Sigh, fine, I'll work on my novel.
I wish everyone a happy, prosperous, healthy and fun 2012. See you at the pearly gates when the world ends in December :P
1) To Finish My Novel--
I'm sure this first resolution comes at no shock to anyone; especially if you have actually read my blog before. I am constantly frustrated with myself for not committing more time to this particular endeavor. However, I am well aware of the fact that seeking out other activities, such as this blog, keep me from making that commitment. The real point to this resolution is to finish my novel before 12-21-12. It's not that I believe the world is actually in danger of ending; it's that I want to be able to say "See, now at least if the world had ended I could face St. Peter with a real accomplishment under my belt." Sure, it would be nice to finish my novel and experience the same notoriety as J.K. Rowling, but so long as I finish it by next year, I figure I will have achieved something for myself.
2) To Sell My Photography Online--
While I don't claim to be the next Ansel Adams, I do enjoy taking pictures of nature. I've been told I'm pretty good, so I'm hoping to capitalize on that. I've already posted a couple of products on zazzle.com, so I should, hopefully, get a couple of hits. If not, then I can at least say I tried. And, to start my shameless promotion, here's the website so you can all go and buy my crap :P http://www.zazzle.com/moonstruckmotifs
3) Learn to Cook--
This may not sound like a completely adventurous goal, but I've always regretted ignoring my mom when she asked if I wanted to help her cook meals. Silly me, I was always more interested in the baked goods. Now that I'm on my own, however, I find that my mom was correct when she said I would need to know how to cook someday. Don't get me wrong, I can whip up a mean spaghetti, but past that and microwaving frozen dinners or canned soup, I'm pretty much worthless. Luckily, I know enough to get by if someone tossed a recipe in front of me, but I wouldn't trust that meal as far as I could throw it. I just need to learn to manage my time better (and there's a reason that's not a resolution, by the way) so I can cook these meals.
4) Learn a New Language--
This is actually something I want to do most of the time anyway. I always thought it would be incredibly cool to know multiple languages. However, I only know English and some Spanish. I've actually forgotten most of my Spanish skills because it's been so long since I've taken classes. That and there isn't much call for speaking Spanish in my daily life. It has come in handy though, so it makes me want to branch out into more languages. Here are just a few that I wish to speak someday: Japanese, Mandarin (though I have actually taken a class for this, I've forgotten almost all of it), Russian, French, German, Portuguese, Italian, Greek (this is mostly so I can no longer say "It's Greek to me"), Arabic (I'm aware there are several versions of this, I'm thinking whichever course I can find will work for me), and some kind of African dialect (mostly to say I know it). I'm aware there are a lot of languages in this list, and even more left out. Really, if it were at all possible, I would love to know every language and dialect and pidgin known to the world.
5) To Finish the Things I Start--
For the first four resolutions, I gave those quite a bit of thought in the days between Christmas and New Years. This one, however, occurred to me as I was writing this particular blog. I actually started writing this about 24 hours ago, but I got distracted by my New Years plans. The really sad thing about that is the fact that my plans consisted of watching two movies and getting out in time to ring in the new year with my friend, who was working (that lucky, lucky girl). I then returned home to finish this, only to become distracted by movies at home. I find that I am more than able to distract myself with the many bells and whistles of life...hence my trouble writing my novel, and now, finishing my blog. However, this resolution also covers the fact that I have several unfinished projects that have nothing to do with writing lying about my apartment. Add that to the fact that my living room looks like a tornado went through it and it all equals this fifth resolution.
That's all folks. Sorry, you'll have to add Porky's stutter in for yourself, I'm not exactly sure how that would translate to the written word. I admit that I have more resolutions than those five, but those are personal and I don't want this to get creepy ;) So, now that I've finished, I'm thinking a movie. Aren't you? Sigh, fine, I'll work on my novel.
I wish everyone a happy, prosperous, healthy and fun 2012. See you at the pearly gates when the world ends in December :P
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Merry Christmas!!
I hope that everyone has had a wonderful Christmas. Unfortunately, my two friends and my sister had to work tonight, but I have taken great joy rubbing in the fact that I didn't have to. That may not be in the spirit of the holiday, but it sure brought me some joy. This is the first time in five years that I've been able to spend any time with my family during the holidays. I used to work for a movie theater, so those of you who finished your holiday meal and ventured out into the unseasonably warm day to watch a movie may know, this is one of the busiest holidays for the theater business. My family joined in that tradition today to watch "New Year's Eve." This was actually the second time I watched it, and I enjoyed it just as much the second time as the first. Even after 5 years as a theater worker, I still haven't grown tired of watching new movies. I recently watched "Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows" and really enjoyed the witty dialog and action. It was also extremely funny (watch out for Holmes' urban camo).
After watching "New Years Eve" for the second time, it made me really think about my own New Years resolutions. I don't usually make any, mostly because I'm well aware of my own very uninspiring will power. However, the last few months have marked a lot of changes for me. I got a new job in October, got new glasses, cut most of my hair off, stopped biting my fingernails and really got serious about entering the dating world. The new year is definitely going to be a whole new experience if I have anything to say about it :) I won't put my resolutions down yet, and the really personal ones won't make it into this blog at all. I will state my resolution to write a resolution blog on New Year's Eve, however.
And now for something completely different. No, I'm not a Monty Python fan, why do you ask? I thought it would be a good idea to talk briefly about the reason for which I started this blog. I haven't progressed any farther on my novel. I did get to the middle of chapter 8, but I got a bit stuck with where to go from there. To be fair, I only get so far on this blog before I hit a block, but at least no one expects anything from this...other than me, of course. As with most things, I expect to become exceedingly rich and famous for every golden word that flows from my fingertips to the screen. Or something like that.
Well, that's all for now, folks. Hope you had a Merry Christmas, a Happy Hanukkah & a Kickin' Kwanza!
After watching "New Years Eve" for the second time, it made me really think about my own New Years resolutions. I don't usually make any, mostly because I'm well aware of my own very uninspiring will power. However, the last few months have marked a lot of changes for me. I got a new job in October, got new glasses, cut most of my hair off, stopped biting my fingernails and really got serious about entering the dating world. The new year is definitely going to be a whole new experience if I have anything to say about it :) I won't put my resolutions down yet, and the really personal ones won't make it into this blog at all. I will state my resolution to write a resolution blog on New Year's Eve, however.
And now for something completely different. No, I'm not a Monty Python fan, why do you ask? I thought it would be a good idea to talk briefly about the reason for which I started this blog. I haven't progressed any farther on my novel. I did get to the middle of chapter 8, but I got a bit stuck with where to go from there. To be fair, I only get so far on this blog before I hit a block, but at least no one expects anything from this...other than me, of course. As with most things, I expect to become exceedingly rich and famous for every golden word that flows from my fingertips to the screen. Or something like that.
Well, that's all for now, folks. Hope you had a Merry Christmas, a Happy Hanukkah & a Kickin' Kwanza!
Friday, December 23, 2011
Some thoughts of the day
Yes, I know, my title is incredibly uninspired, but I promise that this blog will positively burst with thoughts. Sure, many of them may not correlate to one another, but a stray thought can be just as valid as a cohesive string of thoughts. At the very least, my stray thoughts have been known to amuse and confound friends, family and complete strangers. I'm absolutely sure they're laughing with me & not at me.
My family celebrated Christmas today. I'm aware we're jumping the gun by a couple of days, but I promise it was for a good reason. My sister is being forced to work Christmas Eve and Christmas. Tragic, I know. I won't go into who got what, mostly because I'm sure not one person outside of my family gives a rat's patootie. I find that I have a lot to say, but no clear direction I want to take any of it. Or, at the very least, no willingness (or perhaps bravery) to put it on my blog. Therein may lie the problem with my novel :P
I was watching Turner Classic Movies (TCM) today, and thought of something I have actually thought of before: I was totally born in the wrong decade. I belong to my grandparents' or parents' generation; at least in some aspects. My view on technology is only half as progressive as that of most people in my generation. It took me a long time to get comfortable enough with texting that I could use it on a daily basis. This blog is also the effort of many years getting used to the Internet and all her wily ways. Maybe, my life would be easier if I could be a companion to Doctor Who. Yeah, that seems like a logical solution to my problem. He could take me all throughout time and space, and I would help him in his wacky adventures. Then, I could see how I do in the past and if its really worth it to stick around for the present based upon what I see in the future. Then again, the world is going to end in about 363 days, so I suppose the question of my ability with technology is moot. I suppose I should make that my goal for my novel: get it finished before the world ends. That way, I can at least say I accomplished one of my life goals when I go.
I think my second post is the perfect opportunity to mention that I have started my collection to be a crazy cat lady. Her name is Firefly and she is a year old. She's frigging nuts, but I completely love her. Don't worry too much though, I promise to keep my Firefly posts at a minimum unless she learns to do something completely amazing, like learn to type for herself. At that point, forget the novel, because momma's gonna be making some serious TV money of her precious kitty. Mostly, however, that seems like a remote possibility as she lays on my floor licking her paws, quietly plotting the doom of all mankind. I mean...thinking about sweet kitty things, like mice and salmon.
There you are, I hope these random thoughts have satisfied you all. From the two comments I got yesterday--both from family members (don't judge me, my mom says you shouldn't)--and the fact that two other people told me they read yesterday's post, I have gotten double the readership I expected! I have also written one more post than I thought I would. As Brenda Song's character would say: "Yay me!" Okay, I'm sorry, using a Disney quote was uncalled for. Until next time...whenever that may be...have a happy morrow!
My family celebrated Christmas today. I'm aware we're jumping the gun by a couple of days, but I promise it was for a good reason. My sister is being forced to work Christmas Eve and Christmas. Tragic, I know. I won't go into who got what, mostly because I'm sure not one person outside of my family gives a rat's patootie. I find that I have a lot to say, but no clear direction I want to take any of it. Or, at the very least, no willingness (or perhaps bravery) to put it on my blog. Therein may lie the problem with my novel :P
I was watching Turner Classic Movies (TCM) today, and thought of something I have actually thought of before: I was totally born in the wrong decade. I belong to my grandparents' or parents' generation; at least in some aspects. My view on technology is only half as progressive as that of most people in my generation. It took me a long time to get comfortable enough with texting that I could use it on a daily basis. This blog is also the effort of many years getting used to the Internet and all her wily ways. Maybe, my life would be easier if I could be a companion to Doctor Who. Yeah, that seems like a logical solution to my problem. He could take me all throughout time and space, and I would help him in his wacky adventures. Then, I could see how I do in the past and if its really worth it to stick around for the present based upon what I see in the future. Then again, the world is going to end in about 363 days, so I suppose the question of my ability with technology is moot. I suppose I should make that my goal for my novel: get it finished before the world ends. That way, I can at least say I accomplished one of my life goals when I go.
I think my second post is the perfect opportunity to mention that I have started my collection to be a crazy cat lady. Her name is Firefly and she is a year old. She's frigging nuts, but I completely love her. Don't worry too much though, I promise to keep my Firefly posts at a minimum unless she learns to do something completely amazing, like learn to type for herself. At that point, forget the novel, because momma's gonna be making some serious TV money of her precious kitty. Mostly, however, that seems like a remote possibility as she lays on my floor licking her paws, quietly plotting the doom of all mankind. I mean...thinking about sweet kitty things, like mice and salmon.
There you are, I hope these random thoughts have satisfied you all. From the two comments I got yesterday--both from family members (don't judge me, my mom says you shouldn't)--and the fact that two other people told me they read yesterday's post, I have gotten double the readership I expected! I have also written one more post than I thought I would. As Brenda Song's character would say: "Yay me!" Okay, I'm sorry, using a Disney quote was uncalled for. Until next time...whenever that may be...have a happy morrow!
And here I thought I had a novel idea
So sorry for the awful pun there, but it had to be said. I suppose I'm not off to a great start, but no one ever said a blog had to be entertaining. In fact, I've been told that many are not. Apologies go out into the ether about the fact that I have never actually read a blog before, let alone started one. However, I figured that if I can't finish my novel, I may as well try my hand at blogging. Truth be told, the title of my blog is spot-on. I spend so much time on the Internet avoiding my novel, it just makes sense (in an extremely round-about way) to spend my procrastination on something other than Facebook and games.
As for my unforgivably punny title, I feel I should be excused by the fact that many of my awful puns are wholly unintentional. I swear I began with good intentions. I told my mom, "You know, I spend so much time on the Internet these days, I should just start a blog. At least then my writing will be out there somewhere. And, I'll call it the Procrastinating Writer!" Needless to say, that didn't happen. There are not one, but two blogs that already have that name. They do not inspire a lot of confidence. One has never been written upon and the other ended after one shining moment in 2008. It's not like my confidence needed to be shaken at all. Thanks so much you other anonymous a-holes! Sorry, I'll calm down. The thing is, I've started many novels, short stories, plays, etc. and never finished even one of them. I've done a few short stories for school, but never anything past 10 pages. That's why I'm so excited to have started on my eighth chapter of my fantasy/sci-fi novel. It's given me a lot of delusions of grandeur. Unfortunately, that's my biggest problem. I'm first and foremost a dreamer. It's giving any kind of action that would accomplish those dreams where I get stuck. I'm way too easily distra....ooh, shiny! Sorry again, where was I? Oh, yeah, I'm easily distracted; and the Internet is most assuredly not helping.
But, enough of my woes. I'll try not to bore anyone to death, but I make absolutely no guarantees. I do promise to try to write more than one blog, so I won't, at the very least, waste this blog name. What's the point in doing that for the third time? Thankfully, I'm off of work for another few days, so I have plenty of time to waste. I suppose that's all I have for now though. To all two of you who read this, thanks, and have a great life :D
As for my unforgivably punny title, I feel I should be excused by the fact that many of my awful puns are wholly unintentional. I swear I began with good intentions. I told my mom, "You know, I spend so much time on the Internet these days, I should just start a blog. At least then my writing will be out there somewhere. And, I'll call it the Procrastinating Writer!" Needless to say, that didn't happen. There are not one, but two blogs that already have that name. They do not inspire a lot of confidence. One has never been written upon and the other ended after one shining moment in 2008. It's not like my confidence needed to be shaken at all. Thanks so much you other anonymous a-holes! Sorry, I'll calm down. The thing is, I've started many novels, short stories, plays, etc. and never finished even one of them. I've done a few short stories for school, but never anything past 10 pages. That's why I'm so excited to have started on my eighth chapter of my fantasy/sci-fi novel. It's given me a lot of delusions of grandeur. Unfortunately, that's my biggest problem. I'm first and foremost a dreamer. It's giving any kind of action that would accomplish those dreams where I get stuck. I'm way too easily distra....ooh, shiny! Sorry again, where was I? Oh, yeah, I'm easily distracted; and the Internet is most assuredly not helping.
But, enough of my woes. I'll try not to bore anyone to death, but I make absolutely no guarantees. I do promise to try to write more than one blog, so I won't, at the very least, waste this blog name. What's the point in doing that for the third time? Thankfully, I'm off of work for another few days, so I have plenty of time to waste. I suppose that's all I have for now though. To all two of you who read this, thanks, and have a great life :D
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)