There Are Zombies in This One

Most people who know me know that I hate scary movies.  I get overly involved and freak out just a bit.  I've only ever watched one actually scary zombie movie--Dawn of the Dead--and ended up jumping up and down on Niki's couch screaming "Run, you stupid b***h!!!" at the main character.  That being said, I love watching The Walking Dead (though that mid-season finale ticked me off just a bit in regards to Hershel and Judith), and reading zombie books.  I'm also a big fan of funny zombie movies (Shaun of the Dead and Zombieland).  Most of my friends who also like zombie culture are convinced they could survive the apocalypse a lot better than some of the people on Walking Dead or similar shows.  I'm convinced I'd be one of the first people to get bitten.

Running is hard.....

Anyways, on to my central point (I swear, I do have one).  There are a couple of zombie-themed books about which I am wildly enthusiastic.  One is for adults, and the other is geared toward young adults.  I'll start with with young adult series:

Rot & Ruin, by Jonathan Maberry, is set fifteen years after the zombie apocalypse, which the characters call First Night.  The protagonist is Benny Imura, a boy who was only 18 months old when First Night occurred and is now considered old enough by his community to begin working.  The rationale is that everyone needs to pull their weight and earn their food.  Benny's character makes the point that teenage angst is everywhere...even after zombies have taken over most of the Earth.  He bucks at the authority of his older brother, Tom, who had raised him since First Night.  Tom is known throughout their community as the best bounty hunter/zombie killer in the Rot & Ruin, which is what people call everything beyond the city gates.

What I like about this story is that, while there are many intense action scenes, it's not all about killing zombies.  The "zoms" are shown as just another dangerous part of nature.  They aren't evil, and they aren't malicious, they're only acting in accordance to the virus.  Tom Imura is a brilliant fighter, but he doesn't go out of his way to hurt or kill people.  He uses his strength--both of body and character--to defend the people he loves and to bring closure to the survivors of First Night.  He doesn't even go out of his way to kill zombies because they were once people.

Rot & Ruin has several relatable and realistic characters.  It's a thicker book for a young adult novel, but it moves at a rapid pace.  Benny and his friends are typical teenagers...they just happen to be living in an atypical world.  So far, there are four books in the series: Rot & Ruin, Dust & Decay, Flesh & Bone, and Fire & Ash.  Maberry has also written zombie-based novels for adults that I'd like to look into, starting with Patient Zero.

Now..onto something a little more adult.

Peter Clines has created a mash-up of some of my favorite things: zombies, super heroes, and nerdisms.  Ex-Heroes is about a community of people living in the Paramount lot after the zombie apocalypse has wiped out the rest of Los Angeles.  The biggest difference here is that the people in charge of the Mount...are super heroes who were saving lives long before the apocalypse.  The viewpoint in these novels shifts from character to character, as well as shifting between the past and 'present.'  With that, there doesn't really seem to be a central character, though the novel mainly focuses on St. George--a super hero reminiscent of Superman...but with the ability to breathe fire.  That and none of the pesky weakness to shiny green rocks.  While you would think a community run by super heroes would have no problems...the Mount begins having problems with another group of survivors.  There are also some conflicts within the Mount between the 'regular' humans and the super heroes.

I read this book on a four-hour train trip, and almost bit through my finger a couple of times.  It was intense!  It was also hilarious, brilliant, and nerdy.  Clines (via St. George and Zzzap-a guy who can basically harness power equal to the sun) throws in a lot of current (nerd) pop-culture references.  My favorites, of course, are the Doctor Who references.  Once again, this book isn't about killing zombies...it's about survival.  Some people may find the flashbacks a little confusing at times...but I'm used to my story lines being a little wibbly wobbly.

There are currently three books in the series: Ex-Heroes, Ex-Patriots, and Ex-Communication.  The fourth, Ex-Purgatory, comes out in 2014, and I'm super excited!  These appear to be Clines' first full-length novels, though he does have some short stories out there that I haven't read.

These book aren't really about zombies (which most people can tell you about most zombie culture).  They're about the duality of man and how it's the decisions humans make that can either make humanity better or worse.  The zombies serve more as a way to move the plot forward than as antagonists.  That is probably why I like zombie culture.  It strips away the thin veil of civility in our culture and shows humanity at its most basic level.  How would people behave in the face of that level of disaster?

Now, I do want to add one more book to this apocalyptic reading list: Apocalypse Cow, by Michael Logan.  It's a slightly off-kilter zombie books featuring zom-beef--that would be living dead cows.  While the absurdity of this premise might put some people off...it was incredibly well-written and hilarious.  If you're also a fan of Shaun of the Dead, then this one is right up your alley.  It features an interesting mix of characters: an aspiring (awful) reporter, a slaughterhouse technician with an iffy sense of smell, an intense government agent, and teenager with embarrassingly liberal parents.  It's all set in Glasgow, Scotland--which just makes it ten times better in my opinion :P

Okay...there's your Christmas reading list...Enjoy!

When My Imagination Runs Wild...

About a month ago, I found this strange figurine (shown below) amongst the things my grandma sells at flea markets and craft shows. I of course had to take a picture and tell my coworkers about it. One of them decided she had to have it, and it took me awhile to find the darn thing again. Now, because I'm not entirely normal (and have never claimed to be so), I decided to make up a story about this thing I name the Woltopus. This is the result:

Behold! The mighty Wolftopus! This strange and mystical beast has long been a point of contention amongst historians. Some refuse to acknowledge its existence in either reality or mythology, but this totem serves as proof that someone--somewhere--has seen the creature. 

Popular legend believes that the Wolftopus is a fluke of the gods and nature. However, some see it far differently; and this is their version...

Once, when the world was young, and humans just began to walk upon the Earth; there was a mighty wolf. The humans called him Gustinormous. He was larger than any other wolf in existence, and it was said his mighty paws could rip down mountains; that the snapping of his mighty jaws could create fearsome storms; that a sweep of his mighty tail could level twelve villages. Gustinormous was feared throughout the land. While this is all well and good, the wolf with terrible powers was just as terribly lonely. For no female wolf was brave enough to take Gustinormous for a mate. 

Thus Gustinormous traveled far and wide trying to find a creature like himself. It took almost three thousand years, but his journeys finally took him to a small island in the middle of the ocean that is now called Oahu. There, Gustinormous met a giant octopus. Her name was Ahilani, and she was the protector of the island. At first, Ahilani thought Gustinormous meant her island harm. To be fair, he was terrorizing some of the smaller animals...but a giant wolf needs to eat. So Ahilani began to fight Gustinormous. Their battle raged on for a week, neither willing to give ground. During their struggle, the pair created the other islands that now make up Hawaii. Finally, after their long and tiring fight, Gustinormous and Ahilani were stuck in a stalemate. During this time, Gustinormous assured Ahilani that he only wished to stay on the island for a short time before continuing his search for a mate. He stayed for another week, building his strength and tending the wounds caused by Ahilani. While there, he and Ahilani talked for hours and days, finding that they had more in common than would have been expected between a land and sea creature.  Gustinormous chose to extend his stay until he fell in love with Ahilani.  What followed was beautiful to the heart, but disgusting to the mind.
Several years later, Ahilani gave birth to the mighty Wolftopus.  He was the combination of his parents' greatest strengths: His father's powerful jaws an senses of sight and smell, and his mother's strong eight arms.  The Wolftopus could live on land or sea, and was the terror of both.  Some say he can still be seen when the moon is full and the fog is thick.  Like his father before him, the Wolftopus searches for a mate.  But who could ever love a WOLFTOPUS?

THE END

I'm not gonna lie...I'm a little proud of myself here.  What started as a joke became a pretty funny short story.  Now, for anyone who's keeping track, you may have noticed it's been eight months since my last post.  Obviously, my plan to keep on top of my posts has been an utter failure.  See, now this is why I don't usually make resolutions.  Like most people, I just can't seem to keep them.  However, those of you keeping track may have also realized...I'VE FINISHED MY BOOK!!
It's 96,000+ words and 32 chapters (plus an epilogue).  I'm really more proud of that.  It's taken me awhile to finish it, but now that I have I'm ready to go on book two.  I've already hit chapter four, and someone has told me she expects to read book two after Christmas break.  I'm going to try to make that a reality.  There's also the hope that if I finish my second book (and quickly get started on the third) it will make me a more desirable option to literary agents and/or publishers.  I've already gotten my first rejection from a literary agent, and instead of being upset by it, I see it as the first step on my road to publication.  I figure if it took J.K. Rowling 12 tries to get published, one rejection isn't so bad.  That and I have a few more to look forward to.  But, so long as I keep reaching for the stars, I might just hit the moon :D

Well, I hope everyone is having a Happy Thanksgiving.  Try not to go overboard on the turkey...there's no sense in two of us doing so ;)  

Good Girl, Brandi

Pets have always been a part of my life.  My earliest memories involve one litter of kittens or another, and bird dogs that I wasn't really allowed to play with, but loved all the same.  When my dad stopped using bird dogs, we still had dogs, but for no other reason than because we could.  Most of our animals were either born on our farm or brought there intentionally, but our farm has also been home to several strays.  

Brandi came to us sometime during my sophomore or junior year, and we put her age at around two or three.  It was obvious from the first day we met her that she had been abused, and even more obvious it had been at the hands of a man.  It took several years before she allowed my dad to pet her, and several more before she trusted him with any kind of object in his hand.  Despite this, she had a sweet disposition and a playful attitude.  She teased and tormented our other dog, Rufis, and would follow him anywhere.  When he died four years ago, we could tell she was a little lonely, but my sister and I were gone and my parents weren't looking to get another dog.

That didn't stop Grover from showing up, however.  Much like Brandi, we'll never know if he was dumped at the farm or found his way there on his own, but when my parents couldn't find his owners he became family.  In the last few years, Brandi has gone deaf, blind in one eye, and lost a lot of her puppy-ness.  When Grover arrived, he harried her much like she did Rufis, but she seemed to enjoy the company nonetheless.  I think she also enjoyed the extra warmth that had been missing since Rufis left. In fact, she enjoyed having the company so much that when Grover first arrived she greeted him warmly and led him right to her food.  It took her almost fifteen minutes to get him to follow her to the barn where the food and her sleeping spot were, but she was determined.  I think that even if Grover hadn't liked our farm, she would have found a way to coax him into staying.  They shared her favorite sitting spot in the chair on the front porch, and slept together each night in the barn.

At the approximate age of 12, Brandi passed away on March 15th during the night.  Grover stayed by her side in the barn the whole night.  His devotion to his new friend went past this simple kindness however.  The barn is almost fifty feet from our back door, but he dragged her there so my parents would find her immediately.  I think my mom put it best when she said that Grover must have been sent to us in what turned out to be Brandi's last three months.

I will miss this sweet girl, and I'm so happy that we were able to give her a better life than she had before us.  I know that she and Rufis are together again, chasing each other around and enjoying a warm patch of grass in the sunlight.

Looking for something to read?

Of course, I'm sure you're all dying to read what I've been writing, but I'm not ready to inflict...I mean release that to the public yet.  Actually, I thought I'd tell you all about some of the books and graphic novels I've been reading lately.

I'll start with the graphic novel, mostly because I don't read many, so this will be brief.  I've recently been reading Y: The Last Man, by Brian K. Vaughn.  This is the story of Yorick (Alas, I knew him well), who is the last human male on Earth.  He is joined in Y chromosome solitude with his pet monkey, Ampersand.  Together with a secret agent, known only as 355, and a scientist, Allison Mann, they are trying to find out what happened to cause the deaths of all male mammals.

The storyline is fast-paced, even though it spans several years, starting in 2002.  It's also quite funny, especially to a former English major (something I have in common with poor Yorick).  There are ten volumes spanning 60 issues.  I think what really impresses me about Yorick is the fact that as the last man on Earth, he practices remarkable restraint.  His journey to help save mankind is further motivated by his search for his girlfriend/fiancee with whom he lost touch at the onset of the plague.  During his journey, he's pretty much able to keep it in his pants despite some rather seductive women.  I think Mr. Vaughn did a pretty good job writing about what could happen if the world was full of only women.  There are some sticking points for me that it takes several years for the ladies of Earth to get electricity up and running again, but I thing that helped him move his plot as he needed it, so I'm willing to forgive the poetic license.

Now, onto books:

First I'm going to sing the praises of one Kevin Hearne.  My sister, dad and I have all swapped his Iron Druid chronicles.  We sort of act as our own family library, sharing books whenever we hit upon a good series.  Mr. Hearne has written a wonderful series, and we're all greatly anticipating book six, coming this June.

This series tells the story of Atticus O'Sullivan, the last druid.  He's more than 2000 years old, but he can still kick butt like it's 100 BCE.  Hearne does a wonderful job of mixing mythologies without confusing the issue too much.  I love his pronunciation guides at the beginning of each of the books, because I'm one of the people he writes about who likes to know how to properly pronounce these Celtic and Norse names.  The real show stealer for these books, however, is Atticus' dog, Oberon.  That wolf hound has a unique outlook on life, and he's a good dose of comic relief.

Now, for something a little different.  Well, it's different for me anyway.

I don't think my first two recommendations would come as a shock to anyone who knows me.  They delve into the sci-fi and fantasy I love so much.  The other series I'm going to write about, however, is pretty much steeped in realism.  I've currently been reading the adventures of Hamish Macbeth by M. C. Beaton.

I suppose this isn't as shocking as I think it is, mostly because it includes something else I love: Scotland.  Hamish Macbeth is a police constable in the - usually - quiet town of Lochdubh.  These books may not be serious brain teasers, but they're short, funny, and surprisingly empathetic.  Ms. Beaton has a real knack for delving into the psyches of several characters at once, and makes all of them seem incredibly real in the less than 200 pages she uses.  This series is a nice break from reality that won't take long, but still leaves you feeling satisfied.

There, I think that leaves everyone with enough reading material for now.  Hopefully you all enjoyed my reviews.  More hopefully, you'll pick up one of these awesome titles.

So long for now.  Happy reading!

Getting on the Internets

That's right, and I do mean all of them.

I've made some amazing progress on my book. I'm about ready to start chapter 28 of what I plan to be a 30 chapter book. This has prompted various flights of fantasy, all staring me as a rich and successful author. I imagine the many interviews that will take place in the next five years where I'm asked "How did you do it?" As it happens, my imagination quite fails me at that point. I think I'm waiting for some fairy godmother (or godfather, I'm not a sexist fantasist) to wing on down, hit my novel with a wand, and *POOF* -- there's my novel, finely polished and grammatically correct, with thousands of teenagers clamoring for a copy.

Somehow, even I have figured out that's not incredibly likely. I've been a good little novelist lately, and I've begun to do some research that might help me find my way into the publishing world.  I've seen several book excerts and articles that I find comforting, but there are many others that make me realize -- this novel stuff might require some actual effort.  Silly me, I thought the hard part was going to be getting the darn thing written.  Turns out, despite all my many and varied procrastination techniques, that will be easy by comparison.

So, after giving into several hours of vascilating between whining and crying, I figuratively rolled up my sleeves and got to work.  I have found various self-help books (though without my fantasy fortune I'm going to find it a bit difficult to buy them all) that should give me a kick in the pants toward the right direction.  I have even bowed to the weight of social media and finally joined Twitter.  You can find me @RampagingKelpie, trying my darnedest to stay within the character limits.

It continually surprises me how very tech-dumb I am.  While I can astound my parents and grandparents with my computer skills, I frankly just click on whatever looks viable and cross my fingers.  Twitter confuses me, and I feel like those apes from 2001: A Space Odyssey.  Confused, and a little scared.  Not of Twitter, just of looking stupid.  I mean, seriously, what are hashtags for?  Whom should I follow?  What should I Tweet about?  Is it even appropriate to capitalize "Tweet?"  See?  Scary stuff.  Luckily, I have my friend, Niki, to steer me through the reefs and bergs of Twitterpation.  Sure, she'll probably purposely lead me to one or two reefs, but if she didn't, I'd wonder what was wrong.  Then again, to get that help, I'd need to ask for it first.  Note to self (and anyone else reading this): Ask Niki for help. 

At the very least I already had this blog going, which was a sugesstion from Chuck Sambuchino from his book, Create Your Writer Platform.  Turns out, if you don't put yourself out there in the first place, it's a heck of a lot harder to find a publisher willing to take a risk.  I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but let's face it; there are millions of people who want to write the next big bestseller, and only thousands of publishers.  It makes sense that if one can't market oneself, why should a publisher want to.

Now that I'm trying to be a good little novelist, I may actually see my way to writing on a more regular basis.  Who knows, I may even find a central theme to this blog...nah, random thoughts are more my style, and they always say: write what you know.

I'll be off then, trying to finish my novel.  Have a lovely day!