There Are No Calories While Travelling! (Part 2)

Well, I don't call myself the PROCRASTINATING Novelist for nothing.  After almost three months, I'm finally ready to give you all my second food-based installment of my travels.  Now, there is a problem with putting this off for so long, and that is that my memory (which has never been great) has faded a bit.  So there will be no order to these meals as there was the last time.  I'm fairly certain I'm putting them in the correct order, but I make no guarantees.  Thankfully, I did have the presence of mind at the time to jot some notes in my phone, but they weren't nearly as extensive those from Cardiff.  My hope is that as I get going, my natural penchant for embellishment will help me remember the particulars.

The Firehouse Rotisserie

After doing a (free) walking tour through Bath, I decided to scope things out again on my own.  I missed lunch and my travels kept me out until dinner time, and so I kept my eyes peeled for a likely dinner spot.  It was difficult to make a choice, because so many of the places in Bath were very expensive.  Though beautiful, Bath is and always has been a prime tourist spot.  So it was with great delight that I found this restaurant.  I saw the special on the window, and knew both my palette and my wallet would appreciate what I found within.

The Food: Half Texas Spice Rubbed Rotisserie Chicken with Jalapeno Coleslaw, Spicy Fries and a glass of house wine 
I have only recently realized that the 'salad' I mentioned in my notes was in fact the advertised coleslaw.  Perhaps it was an English version of the stuff I'm used to, but it was more like an incredibly spicy side salad.  And indeed, it was a perfect complement to the rest of the meal.  The chicken was juicy with crispy skin, and the barbecue sauce they used was sweet, smoky, and a little spicy itself.  The fries were perfectly crisp this time (it helped that I actually remembered to ask for once).  I don't usually drink wine, and the host/waiter was incredibly accommodating.  He let me try a few different wines before I settled on the Prosecco Rose.  He added a crème de cassis made of black current, and was kind enough to explain was that meant.  I don't really remember, which is why I've thrown in a hyperlink on that term.  All told, it was a delicious meal.  Everything was satisfyingly spicy, and the wine was a perfect pairing.

The Dessert: Banoffe Cheesecake with Peanut Brittle
I debated with myself on whether or not I would have any dessert.  Based on the fact that I was still hungry from missing lunch, and had consumed just enough wine to not care about my wallet, I indulged (I was also still stinging over the lack of dessert in Cardiff).  This treat was a divine revelation.  Generally speaking, I rush through my meals, but I will never hurry cheesecake of any kind.  I almost feel bad for eating this dessert in public, because it felt like I was was putting on an indecent performance.  However, the taste and textures of my dessert were too good to worry about what other people thought of my reaction...if they cared at all.  The peanut brittle was unlike anything I've had in the States, and tasted more like a peanut butter laden caramel.  The cheesecake was light and creamy and the perfect blend of cream cheese and peanut butter.  I was definitely sad when it was gone.

The Service:
As I said above, the person who seated me and took my order was wonderfully accommodating.  The restaurant was pretty empty, as I came in around 6:00, but he still made sure I was taken care of even when other people arrived.  He even went to far as to write down the spelling for the cassis so I would know what to ask for if I ever wanted it again.  Halfway through my meal, a waitress replaced him.  My guess was she had just shown up for her shift, and she kept the good times rolling.  Of course, she could have thrown water in my face and I still would have been happy once my cheesecake arrived.  Luckily, I didn't have to test that theory, and I left a incredibly satiated and satisfied customer.

The Price:
So the damage at the end of my meal was £16.95.  I ended up leaving £5 for the tip, and never regretted a penny left on the table.  Was it a little rich for my blood?  Sure, but I felt justified in the expense after missing lunch.  Was the food itself a little rich?  Oh baby, you bet it was!  But boy, was it worth it!

The Rating: 10 of 10

The Kennard

Let me start off by saying I give this hotel my highest recommendations.  Those who have traveled with me before know that my hotel-choosing skills are suspect at best.  However, in this instance I hit it out of the park.  The atmosphere was welcoming and homey, and the owner, Natalie, made me feel like an honored guest.  She was so sweet and made sure I was getting the most out of my experience in Bath.  I hope to go back again some day, and I will certainly try to stay there again!

The Food: 

I once again did the full English breakfast.  Most of the pictures on my blog have been taken by me, however I forgot to take one of my lovely breakfast.  Luckily for me, the Kennard's website helpfully provided one on their page.  I hope they won't mind me borrowing it for this.  I must say, they certainly use better lighting than my phone can produce.   Unlike this photo I had my eggs scrambled, but otherwise this is a perfect representation of my meal.  The eggs, bacon, and sausage were all done to perfection.  The eggs weren't a bit runny, and my bacon was the perfect amount of crispy.  This breakfast came with a potato cake mixed with some parsley.  It was a little plain on its own, but it cut into the saltiness from the other foods well.  And when it came to toast, I had as much as my little heart could desire.  They would have kept bringing me little salvers of toast until the kitchen closed.  I was good though, and stopped at one serving.  The meal also came with fresh tea (of course), and I chose the English Breakfast tea...because I'm cool like that. They also had a sidebar with fruits, pastries, juices, and condiments.  I chose sparingly from these to save room for my FEB, which is probably one of my favorite dining experiences in the UK.

The Service:
Given my accolades above, I'm sure it won't surprise you to know I had a wonderful experience here.  It was pretty funny, because this was a family-run B&B which has only been owned by this particular family for a short time.  When I went, they had bought the place only five months earlier.  I say this is funny because I got to see the family dynamics with Natalie and Guy (her husband) teaching their daughter how they wanted breakfast served.  I unfortunately can't remember the young lady's name, but she was very sweet and it was nice to see her getting in to the family's new business.

The Price:
This was a best price of all, because it was included in the cost of the room.  When one includes the fact that I got a small break in price because I booked on a weekday, this was a definite steal.  I only stayed two nights, but I had to leave the hotel at 5:15 on my second morning.  When I told Natalie this, she made sure to pack my room with goodies the night before I left to take on the train.  While I would have loved a second FEB, my flight times just would not cooperate.  Well, I guess that just means I absolutely HAVE to go back again ;)

The Rating: 11 of 10 (yes, I'm aware I've broken my scaling system.  But it's my system, and I'll do with it as I please!)

The Jane Austen Centre

Here is the crux of my decision to see Bath. Though this is not the place where Jane Austen grew up, it is the setting for two of her books--Northanger Abbey and Persuasion--both published posthumously.  The Centre is not where the Austens spent their time in Bath, but is the best representation the local Jane Austen Society could procure.  When I was done with my tour of the house, I showed myself to the Regency Tea Room for a spot of tea.

The Food: Lady Catherine's Proper Cream Tea with Chai
There were several choices on the menu, but my heart was captured by two words: clotted cream.  Some of my first (and favorite) romance novels are set in the Regency Era, and almost every one mentions this purely English condiment.  It was basically a creamier and sweeter version of butter.  Much like it sounds, it tasted like a thick cream.  I received one plain scone, and one with what tasted like currants.  Tea also came with regular butter, strawberry jam, and raspberry jam.  I chose a spicier tea than I planned, mostly because I was suffering from a slight sore throat.  The extra spice helped me taste the wonderful tea I was served.

The Service:
The woman who served my tea was very kind, and she obviously enjoyed her job.  I can't say as I blame her, because she and the other staff got to dress in period costumes and take on personas from Austen's novels.  If they weren't having fun, I would be happy to throw on my Empire-waist dress and show them how it's done!

The Price:
Normally this tea is priced at £7.90, however with the price of my admission into the Centre I received a coupon.  So for me (and other guests who partook) it was £6.95.  For the food and the experience of soaking up the Jane Austenesque atmosphere, I felt this was more than fair.

The Rating: 9 of 10

You may think my ratings are all a little high, and you could be right.  I don't think it's the fault of my memory however, I think it's purely prejudiced by how much fun I had while in Bath.  I preferred Bath to Cardiff in fact, because of the overall atmosphere of the city.  Someone (or some committee) in Bath has worked very hard to keep the city from becoming too industrialized.  There's something overwhelmingly satisfying about walking down the streets and seeing things that have been the same for almost 200 hundred years.  I think it's perhaps more significant for an American who rarely gets such a chance.  Either way, I'm totally down for a girl's trip with my mom and sister at some point around the Jane Austen Festival (which is currently in full swing...or quadrille as the case may be).

Let's Go Netflixing!

Greetings to all on this fine day.  Or—to those on the East Coast—warm thoughts and wishes to all.  As so many people are stuck inside in that area of the country, I figured they might be looking for something to watch at home.  As I get great use from my Netflix queue, here are some suggestions.

God Bless America

This quirky little straight-to-DVD film has been on my list for quite some time.  The whole idea behind it is both repellent and appealing.  Joel Murray plays Frank, a depressed office worker who is sick to death of all the stupidity, cruelty, and lack of common courtesy surrounding him.  His neighbors are loud, his spoiled daughter prefers to stay with his ex-wife, his coworkers are annoying, and reality TV is encouraging downright cruel behavior.  When he gets fired from his lack-luster job and receives the news that he has an inoperable brain tumor, Frank decides there’s nothing to lose and begins a killing spree.  On his first foray into the murder business, he accidentally acquires a 16-year-old protégée in Roxy.  From then on, they’re an unlikely but effective pairing that is just trying to cull the human herd, and make America a better place for all.

What I like:  This movie reminded me a lot of “Idiocracy”—another movie I highly recommend, but is sadly missing from Netflix.  GBA has basically the same themes, but with an incredibly violent twist.  It highlights the many ways in which people have lost touch with what’s important in life, while letting us laugh at the absurd way the protagonist decides to confront the problem.  Roxy is also a joy to watch, as we enjoy her witty banter with the much older Frank, as she too tries to understand how people can be so awful.  I also appreciate the fact that Frank treated Roxy like a daughter, as opposed to the extremely younger love interest other films might push for.  It reminded me a lot of Leon’s relationship with Mathilda in “Leon: The Professional.”

What I dislike:  Frankly, it was a bit too violent for my taste--at least insomuch that it’s meant to be a comedy.  While I understand that the overt blood and gore is meant to shock the viewer, I felt that they went a bit far in some scenes. 

Overall, I gave this movie an 8 out of 10.  It’s funny, while sending the message of: take a look at your choices!

Knights of Badassdom

Okay, I’ll admit I added this film as one of those “I’ll watch it when I feel like having something on in the background” kinds of movies.  I was stunned by how much I liked it.  After getting dumped by his high-school sweetheart for refusing to grow up, Joe (Ryan Kwanten) is kidnapped by his friends (Steve Zahn & Peter Dinklage) and taken to their annual battle of Evermore (which really shows that Joe’s former girlfriend made the correct choice).  The trio joins Eric (Zahn) and Hung’s (Dinklage) comrades, which includes Gwen (Summer Glau)—a girl who dislikes LARPing, and is really only there to keep an eye on her cousin.  While trying to level up as a sorcerer, Eric accidently summons a succubus—who takes the form of Joe’s former flame as she tromps around the woods in a prom dress and out for blood.  Once again, there’s a lot of blood and gore as the group follows the trail of bodies and tries to figure out how to defeat the monster.

What I like:  Let’s face it—a movie that stars River Tam (Glau), Tyrion Lannister (Dinklage), and Jason Stackhouse (Kwanten) was destined to win my heart at least a tiny bit.  I’m a little in love with Peter Dinklage and his ability to mold himself into any character.  In this movie, Hung is a complete stoner who excels at kicking-butt in the Battle of Evermore (but not in real life).  In Hung there is no sign of Tyrion’s smug intelligence couched in sly banter and machinations.  I also love that Gwen (Glau) is a master swordswoman, despite her lack of appreciation for the world her cousin has thrust upon her.  This is especially important where it concerns some of my points of disfavor for this movie.

What I dislike:  The entire premise of this story is pretty thin, but it gets by on banter and my love for the actors.  The effects are about what one would expect from a low-budget film, and I suspect many of their extras are actual LARPers (which is really a point in the film’s favor).  My biggest point of contention about the film, however, is how sexist it is.  While Gwen is a somewhat redeeming character, even she can’t help the fact that she’s a total Smurfette.  Though she isn’t a damsel in distress, she is the only female in an otherwise all-male cast.  This isn’t counting the succubus, who is the epitome of the Evil Demon Seductress.  However, I didn’t like the succubus because, instead of remaining true to the myth of a succubus (a female demon who descends upon and has sexual intercourse with a man while he sleeps), the writers created something more akin to a regular demon who just happens to use her looks to disembowel people.

Overall, I gave this one a 6 out of 10.  While I would normally have gone lower for the overpowering sexism, the fact remains that the casting saved this movie.  Sure, it’s still pretty sucky, but I love me some Dinklage.

Parks and Recreation

While most people are more than familiar with the antics of Indiana public official Leslie Knope (Amy Poehler), I admit I have only recently begun my journey.  This mainly stems from the fact that I watch a lot of shows, and unfortunately have to sleep at some point.  This series is a delightful comedy featuring the exquisite homance between Leslie and Ann Perkins (Rashida Jones) as they try to make their city of fictional Pawnee, IN a more beautiful and better place.

What I like:  Amy Poehler is hilarious, and she really shines in this role.  Her character is a mess, and she’s just trying to put her name out there for the world to see.  She has big dreams, but small ability, and the audience gets to cheer her on and laugh (both with her and at her) as she tries to make her place in the world.  This show is teeming with wonderful characters.  Some are meant to be loved, and others barely tolerated…though we still ending up loving them too.

What I dislike:  This is not so much a problem with the show as my own personal hang-up.  In a comedy show like this, the main character must necessarily make a complete ass of herself in order to advance the story and give the audience something to laugh at.  The situations are usually ridiculous, and most real-life people would never find themselves facing those circumstances.  That’s just the way it is.  However, when those scenarios arise, I find myself overwhelmed with empathy and I get incredibly embarrassed on the character’s behalf.  It’s a problem I’ve had with many shows and movies…so I know it’s definitely me, and not them, causing my issue.

Overall I’m not ready to give this one an official rating just yet.  I’ve only just finished the first season, and I think we can all agree that a show grows and changes over the seasons.  I’m tentatively giving this one an 8 out of 10, though I have a feeling that by the time I’ve reached the end of season 6, I’ll love it completely and give it a full 10.

Well, I think that’s enough to get you all started.  When in doubt, let you Netflix recommendations guide you…but don’t get trapped into watching some of the weird crap on there.  Stay safe all of you on the East Coast, and know the rest of us are both praying for your safety, and jealous of your ability to stay home ;)